Life has taken me back to Hawaii

I made it back here... In fact, when the Island finally came in to view from the plane window I started crying.

 I may have run out of good Karma for the remainder of the summer. Yesterday was unbelievable. I mean that in many ways. Allow me to highlight a few.

One of my best friends, Rob, came to Saugerties to pick me up on Sunday and drove me back down to his apartment that night. He lives about half an hour from JFK, has plenty of space for Jackson, and great roommates. I woke up at 4am Monday and took Jackson for a nice walk to the park before our big adventure began. It was a balmy 14 degrees outside with wind speeds up to 20 mph... I was leaving NY with one last reminder of the cold. Rob woke up at 4:45 and we got to the airport by 5:15am. Who does that for a friend? I couldn't say thank you enough.

Somehow in the security line multiple people were cutting the line. I guess there was a flight at 6am for LA and those people took precedence over everyone else? So the line didn't move for what felt like eternity, but was actually half and hour, and in flying terms that is a lot. After an added 5 minutes because Jackson refused to use the escalator, I made it to my gate minutes before it closed. The plane had not one empty seat. Some how the universe sent me the nicest man in the WORLD to sit next to (the guy in the aisle seat was not so accepting). Fred, as I came to know him, helped me get my bag up top and let Jackson sleep on his feet the entire 6 hours to Phoenix. He talked to me about teaching and how I should get back into it, we talked about yoga, I learned about his family, and I now know a lot more about casinos then ever before. Every time Jackson would get restless he'd lean down and pet his head. It was fantastic. Then as we were getting off the plane, he boxed out the other passengers so Jackson and I could get out without being to squished. I shook his hand and wished him amazing good fortunes on his future.

In Phoenix the nicest flight attendant in all existence helped me make sure all of Jackson's paperwork was in order, and got my bag on the plane in an overhead compartment so I could get on last. Again, this plane was packed. After an hour layover Jackson made it a second 7 hour flight sleeping by my feet and only getting restless a few more times. We arrived in Hawaii and after holding his bowels for 16 hours Jackson got to pee on the wonderfully plush Hawaiian grass outside the airport. I had both my suitcases, my dog, and my yoga mat, and I had made it back safely to Hawaii.

I'm sitting at Mary and Keysa's favorite cafe currently and have a job interview at 1pm today. I'm going to have to start thoroughly investing back into my karma bank as I must have used it all up during my travels.

It's a 5 hour time difference between here and NY. Everyone please text me your address :)

A changing moment in my life.

Jackson is never angry or spiteful.

Change. That is what it is all about. Not dwelling on things. Letting them go. If I were to dwell on all of the things that have happened in my life, even the worst, then I would be going nowhere. I would be stuck in some terrible, claustrophobic life, unhappy and mad at the way things are. The only one who can make those things better is you. Hammering past occurrences that upset you are not going to suddenly make it better. They make you feel regret, one of the worst feelings. They make you feel angry and spiteful towards others.
I don't want any of that. I want sunrises. Long hikes to the tops of mountains. I want to smile with the warmth of the sun on my skin. I want to be happy when I'm alone. And I can be.

I want this

I wanted to write about this so called changing moment in my life when I first started typing this. But not even I know when that moment was or is. A changing phase of my life that is quickly and surely leading me to answers. I'm watching many people right now live solemnly and quietly in their life. Admitting to a select few about their real passions, purpose, and goals. They keep it hidden from most and remain sad, lonely, or content. I refuse to do that anymore. I have been scared lately to go out and do things on my own. I have felt trapped in Charleston, trapped in my house, my body, my thinking, my job, and my decisions. I let myself get hurt this summer by things that shouldn't have hurt me. I let irrational thinking take over other more irrational happenings that I was watching right before my eyes. I'll take it as a lesson. Lesson learned. Time to move on. Narrow down what you look at online, and broaden what you look at right in front of you, all around, in the present and in the future. Time to take charge of what is now, and let go what is past.



I'm trying to decide what I actually want to do in life. Who I want to be. What I want to be.  What do I want to spend my time doing? How can I  make the most of the time that I have here, and enjoy it. Enjoy every drop of it. Smile when it rains. Walk in it anyway. Don't watch your life go by with out enjoying the small things. Laugh at them, drink them up, dance all around them. And then look at yourself in the mirror and smile, because everything is working out exactly as it should be.